I am not sure where to begin this journal entry. There is so much to say. yet, I am not sure what to say or how to say it.
I need to write about what I've been experiencing the last couple of weeks and this week... I know I need to. Desperately. There is too much at stake if I don't. This, I have no doubt about and want to make sure to strike while I am able.
First, my husband got sick. Really sick. Poor guy. And, I did everything I could to try to avoid getting sick. I am the type to get sick if he gets sick. I kept feeling like I was going to get sick, so I slowed down and took a day off. I was able to win. There were a few times I thought I felt sick, so I rested and beat the nastiness. Thank God. But, that took some time.
Then, whenever my husband and I made plans, something came up. The same has happened this week. I have not been able to journal as I would like or need. Nowhere near. Also... regarding my memoir. What memoir? I haven't touched it at all this week yet.
And, my personal journaling has been lacking at best. Things keep getting in the way. I journal some. But, it's been short and shallow. Not good. Ugh! I know better than to not journal as much as I need. But, I fell for the trap still. Ugh!
But, the topper this week for me was when we went to Jamestown. That was when I got an idea for a fiction book. The thing I had given up... It's an idea so strong and compelling, it's hard for me to ignore.
So, I decided to start to write the story--as I make sure to keep my priorities of God, husband, personal journaling, exercise, eating right, blogs, Google + communities, memoir, and then the fiction book/story. I just wanted wanted to get the idea on the page and see if I can get it out of my system.
Well, it hasn't worked in one way and has in another.
I feel even more that I need to write the book. But, I am okay to keep my priorities straight.
That being said, I have a dilemma.
I am going to a writer's conference in February. I wasn't planning on presenting anything to publishers since I self-publish my journaling stuff. But, I wanted to network and pass out as many business cards as possible for my journaling stuff (and for The Journaling Path). I will still do that... But, now I wonder about this possible book idea... The Jamestown women one... Do I see if publishers are interested or do I self-publish? Do I start presenting my idea and selling it? If so, I need to write like a madwoman and see how much I can get done in the next couple of weeks or so. That would mean putting off the memoir. My memoir is definitely something I will self-publish, by the way. Or, do I write like mad on that and present it?
Sigh, I have no idea.
I think I am leaning to present memoir next year, but self-publish.
Maybe I need to present all of them--depending on whom I talk with... That being said, I have to write as much as possible. I want to get a lot done with THE JOURNALING AND STORYKEEPING ENCYCLOPEDIA OF 2013 and my memoir: MY STORYKEEPING ODYSSEY, VOL. 1 and my fiction book: HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN.
Stop, Stacy. Think. really think. Don't be controlled by your emotions or impulses.
I think I need to do some massive amounts of personal journaling to figure everything out.
Let's face the fact. My heart lies in Jamestown. It's my home. It's my most favorite place. It's me. I cannot underscore or stress this enough.
It does not matter if I live in Virginia or not. It's more of what it represents than anything. But, I will go there often when we move someday.
In the meanwhile, am I to pass on the Jamestown legacy as fiction or as a memoir? This is my biggest dilemma.
Yes. I need to spend 12-15 hour days doing personal journaling all next week to figure out the answers I seek, I think.
The more I think about it. I think this is the only way I will get these answers. The key is through lots of journaling and prayer time. Maybe I will know then...
I will continue my personal journaling, my blogs and Google+ communities that I am part of, and the encyclopedia. Period. None of these are in question. They are what I want to do for the rest of my life and pledge to do the rest of my life. Period. End of story.
It's the rest... My writing memoir??? And Jamestown??? A book of fiction or a memoir???? (Lord, help me find the answers I seek. May they be what you desire--and may it bring you the glory.)
I am so confused.
I--must--journal.
~ Stacy Duplease
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