My personal journaling: I'm not sure where to begin

I am not sure where to begin this journal entry. There is so much to say. yet, I am not sure what to say or how to say it.

I need to write about what I've been experiencing the last couple of weeks and this week... I know I need to. Desperately. There is too much at stake if I don't. This, I have no doubt about and want to make sure to strike while I am able. 

First, my husband got sick. Really sick. Poor guy. And, I did everything I could to try to avoid getting sick. I am the type to get sick if he gets sick. I kept feeling like I was going to get sick, so I slowed down and took a day off. I was able to win. There were a few times I thought I felt sick, so I rested and beat the nastiness. Thank God. But, that took some time. 

Then, whenever my husband and I made plans, something came up. The same has happened this week. I have not been able to journal as I would like or need. Nowhere near. Also... regarding my memoir. What memoir? I haven't touched it at all this week yet. 

And, my personal journaling has been lacking at best. Things keep getting in the way. I journal some. But, it's been short and shallow. Not good. Ugh! I know better than to not journal as much as I need. But, I fell for the trap still. Ugh! 

But, the topper this week for me was when we went to Jamestown. That was when I got an idea for a fiction book. The thing I had given up... It's an idea so strong and compelling, it's hard for me to ignore. 

So, I decided to start to write the story--as I make sure to keep my priorities of God, husband, personal journaling, exercise, eating right, blogs, Google + communities, memoir, and then the fiction book/story. I just wanted wanted to get the idea on the page and see if I can get it out of my system. 

Well, it hasn't worked in one way and has in another. 

I feel even more that I need to write the book. But, I am okay to keep my priorities straight. 

That being said, I have a dilemma. 

I am going to a writer's conference in February. I wasn't planning on presenting anything to publishers since I self-publish my journaling stuff. But, I wanted to network and pass out as many business cards as possible for my journaling stuff (and for The Journaling Path). I will still do that... But, now I wonder about this possible book idea... The Jamestown women one... Do I see if publishers are interested or do I self-publish? Do I start presenting my idea and selling it? If so, I need to write like a madwoman and see how much I can get done in the next couple of weeks or so. That would mean putting off the memoir. My memoir is definitely something I will self-publish, by the way. Or, do I write like mad on that and present it?

Sigh, I have no idea. 

I think I am leaning to present memoir next year, but self-publish. 

Maybe I need to present all of them--depending on whom I talk with... That being said, I have to write as much as possible. I want to get a lot done with THE JOURNALING AND STORYKEEPING ENCYCLOPEDIA OF 2013 and my memoir: MY STORYKEEPING ODYSSEY, VOL. 1 and my fiction book: HIDE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN. 

Stop, Stacy. Think. really think. Don't be controlled by your emotions or impulses.

I think I need to do some massive amounts of personal journaling to figure everything out.

Let's face the fact. My heart lies in Jamestown. It's my home. It's my most favorite place. It's me. I cannot underscore or stress this enough. 

It does not matter if I live in Virginia or not. It's more of what it represents than anything. But, I will go there often when we move someday.

In the meanwhile, am I to pass on the Jamestown legacy as fiction or as a memoir? This is my biggest dilemma.

Yes. I need to spend 12-15 hour days doing personal journaling all next week to figure out the answers I seek, I think. 

The more I think about it. I think this is the only way I will get these answers. The key is through lots of journaling and prayer time. Maybe I will know then...

I will continue my personal journaling, my blogs and Google+ communities that I am part of, and the encyclopedia. Period. None of these are in question. They are what I want to do for the rest of my life and pledge to do the rest of my life. Period. End of story.

It's the rest... My writing memoir??? And Jamestown??? A book of fiction or a memoir???? (Lord, help me find the answers I seek. May they be what you desire--and may it bring you the glory.)

I am so confused.

I--must--journal.

~ Stacy Duplease

EAVESDROPPING AND DISCOVERY AT JAMESTOWN: A BOOK IDEA: MY PERSONAL JOURNALING

 If two people are talking in a public place, their conversation will be overheard. 

As my husband and I stood at Historic Jamestown at the site of the latest archaeological dig of the cellar, in the actual fort of the 1607 Jamestown, we overheard two men talking about the latest discoveries in the dig. 

What they said staggered me. Big time. It opened my eyes and I was blown away. Astounded. Dumbfounded. Inspired. Shocked. Mortified. Moved. 

It got me thinking.

So, what did I hear? The conversation went something like this:

Man 1: "Did you know how the English records claim that there were no women who came to Jamestown in 1607?"

Man 2: "I do."

1: "Well, we have found several feminine items in this site, which has been dated to the original fort, with items dated to 1607. If there were no women here  those items would not be necessary and would not be found. But, we've found them."

That caught my attention. My head zoomed to the side for me to stare my husband in the eye. I gave him a look saying, DID YOU HEAR THAT? 

Husband's look: YEP. 

My look: CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!" As I wanted to shout.

Husband's look: NOPE. 

My mind started to work in overdrive as millions of thoughts went through my mind. 

2: "Well, that's interesting."

I would have to agree, I thought to myself.

1: "We think they brought over women, like they brought over boys. The boys were used as peace-offerings and as barter for food."

That made me freeze. All my thoughts ceased, other than, Oh, Lord, as I looked up toward the sky in prayer. 

How horrific. Those poor women.

1: "So, of course the English would not keep record of that."

Me: Of course they wouldn't, I thought. The truth is stranger and far more demeaning than fiction. 

1: "This is a brand new theory, just like the baking ovens here in the cellar." He pointed toward the hole in the ground.

I listened a little more until my husband took me by the hand and steered me away.

"I am stunned," I told my husband as we walked to the left of the old church. (Which is still in use today, by the way--and hold the remains of one of my relatives and outside in the graveyard at least one other relative.)

"That's what they call slavery. And that is what we do with sex slaves and trafficking today." He was quick to remind me and that only added another dagger to my heart.

How hideous.

"That means this is brand new information that has never been released. That means it's never been written about." I vocalize to my man.

He nods and squeezes my hand.

"That means I am in trouble."

"How?"

"I made the decision to only write books of non-fiction. Journaling and memoir."

"Pray on it, Stacy. Give it some time. If it keeps coming to your heart, listen to it. You can always do all three--or not. Go where God leads and write what he wants." My fount of wisdom, my God-fearing husband shares with me. I nod and we keep walking as my mind kept circling on this story. Women being given to the Indians as barter and for peace... 

Did they know? 

When did they know/realize the truth?

Were there GIRLS given as well--not just boys and women? 

What do I do?

Do I write the book?

And, do I start to write a second memoir about my learning about my family tree?

What do I do?

Here is where I ask for your input. I am feeling the pull more and more by the hour--not less--to write the book. Do I write it? What do you think? 

~ Stacy Duplease

{NOTE AND COPYRIGHT: Let me state here and now that I came up with this idea on my own. It is now put on the web and can be proven in a court of law that this is/was my idea. (So, please  no one steal this idea as your own. Stacy Duplease of Remembering Your Present, LLC 22 January 2012, 2:04 p.m. The idea of women being used as barter and peace-offerings for the Indians...)}

Jamestown: My Personal Journal Entry Part 2

Written: 2013-01-22 12:14 p.m.

Jamestown Settlement is okay. It's a replica of what Jamestown might have looked at in the day. I do like it there. But, my heart is at Historic Jamestown. It's the actual archaeological dig site of the old Jamestown fort--and was precisely where my ancestors tread. Hence, it is a very special place to me.

Whenever I go there, I cannot help but think each time, "Whose steps from back then, did I just step on? What was their life like? What were they doing, thinking, feeling, when they stepped here?"  

I also cannot help but wish I had their journals.

My husband and I try to go there at least once a month. However, with the holidays and all, It's been about eight weeks since we were there last. Sigh. (Hate that.) 

Therefore, when I stepped out of the car, and showed our National Parks pass, and walked toward the old fort, I felt the weight of the world drop off my shoulders. 

Huh. I never knew I had any weight on my shoulders. I have not been stressed or anything. But, then again  I do life. Life has its own stressors day to day. Whether they get to us or not, they still happen and still leave their mark. Thus, I was glad to return home. I was more than glad. I felt totally peaceful.With each step I took, I felt more and more lively--and I am usually a bubbly person. 

Yes. Jamestown is home. It's where my heart is the most whole. (I shudder every time I think of leaving. With what my husband does for his career, we could move any time from now to a year and a half from now. We never know. But, Virginia is not our retirement home. We will visit often, but we will not end up here.)

We love to see what new things they have uncovered at the archaeological dig site every time we go. We are able to ask questions of the volunteer or archaeologist who is by the dig and find out the latest. 

Yesterday, we could not believe how much they got done since we were last there--just after Thanksgiving. They are working on a cellar. Last time, they found steps. This time, it was a lot larger hole and they found two ovens they think were for baking. We could even see the ash! (Do I need to tell you how man pictures I took?!?) 

Wow! Wonder of wonders. 

Oh, how I got excited! 

I looked at my husband with my face that told him without my mouth moving, HOW COOL! And CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

He looks back at me with a huge smile. YEP. THAT'S MY WIFE. NO. I CANNOT. AND, YES. IT IS PRETTY NEAT. He tells me without uttering a word himself. Then, he squeezes my hand. 

After we get the first glimpse of the fort, and the dig, we head to the cafe along the James River and have a cup of coffee. It's tradition, after all. (Would you believe that we've driven all the way there just to have a cup of coffee along the James? No joke. We did that about three months ago. And, we saw everything else, too. It was a way to make a memory. Just like we drove to St. George, Utah to go to Cracker Barrel for lunch--when we lived in Las Vegas. You have to do silly things and make a memory, after all. It's fun--and is special to share.)

We drank our coffee outside, along the James River, even though it was a little chilly. But, oh, the sun was shining! It was a gorgeous day.

Then, we hit the gift shop in the archoraeum (spelling???) (museum) and then headed back to the dig. Mind you, each way, I took all sorts of pictures with my cell camera.

Then, since the light was different, as it is every time we go there, I took more photos of the fort. Then, headed to the dig and saw how the light was definitely drastically different. So, I took more pictures and was able to eavesdrop two men talking about the latest findings in the cellar. 

That was when I heard something that rocked my world entirely.

And, this is where I need your help, advice, and anything else you can tell me comes to your mind and is placed on your heart. 

See my next blog post: EAVESDROPPING AND DISCOVERY AT JAMESTOWN

Jamestown: My Personal Journal Entry Part 1

Written: 2013-01-22 0937 a.m.

Note: This is a personal entry that I am writing for you and to you, my blog reader, as I process what happened yesterday.

I wrote in a earlier blog post today how Jamestown is my most favorite place on the planet to visit. Do you know why it is?

Well, let me give a little history lesson of the place first, before I write anything more from my perspective. 

If I were to ask you where the United States of America started, what would your answer be?

As I was born and raised in Colorado, I learned that Plymouth, Massachusetts -and the MAYFLOWER, was where the USA started. This is wrong. 

The Mayflower was in 1620.

Jamestown, Virginia, is the correct answer--in 1607. Jamestown was the first English settlement for the USA in 1607. (This is important. Jamestown is the true birthplace of the United States.) 

That's quite the disparity. It all depends on who writes the textbooks as to whether the real truth is shared. I do not want to get into all that here and now. 

My husband and I moved to Virginia, because of relocating for his job, in July 2011. I had no idea about Jamestown--nor about what I am about to share. 

My husband and I both fell in love with Yorktown and Jamestown when we moved here to Virginia. He took a few weeks off from work so we could get settled and so we could have a vacation. (I have my entire house unpacked within a week, let me add. This is always my goal when I move--and preferably within a couple of days.) We visited both places often (and still do, of course). 

Then, on 15 June 2012, I learned something that has thoroughly, completely, entirely, decisively, totally changed my life. (I used all of those synonyms for a reason. It's to make a point.) I learned of a relative, Bryan Penny, who lived in what is now known as Hampton, Virginia in 1670. My family never knew about this, mind you. And, Hampton is near where we live. 

This information staggered me.

I realized that I was here in Virginia, at this time, for a reason.

So, I started to work on my family tree. 

I've learned that my family consists of some of the Tudors and Plantagenets, royal houses of England, and I had over 50+ relatives executed at the Tower of London. I also learned how I am a descendant of Nero. He's the one who played the fiddle as Rome burned. I am also a descendant of Constantine. 

But, I also learned that I had three family members come here to Jamestown in 1607. Three! And, I also had one, John Arundell, who went to Roanoke in 1585-1586 (See the Lost Colony of Roanoke. But, he wasn't one of them.)

Amazing!

This rocked my world--and still does whenever I think about it.

I thought my family had only been here in the USA for four generations or so one one side, three generations on another, and two on another. That was wrong. 

But, that's not all. I also learned how by 1640, I had over 35+ family members in Jamestown (or surrounding areas). Also, how I've had family members fight in every single war the U.S. has ever seen. And, I learned that I had over 30+ people fight in the American Revolutionary War (aka the War of Independence). But, what I found really remarkable was how a father and his 12 sons fought in the American Revolutionary War. 

The fact that I had three here in Jamestown in 1607--and had over 35+ by 1640, is what really stands out to me. 

{Note: Written: 2013-01-22 11:51:47: I just went on an errand and am now back to continue writing this personal journaling entry, addressed to you, my blog reader.}

Now, I am sure, you can see why Jamestown is so important to me. It's the birthplace of the nation I call home, the United States of America, and is where I am from. I've always been patriotic and support 100% the military and all they do. And, I love my family. Jamestown represent both in my life so are meaningful.

It's rather interesting knowing my true family tree and I see things through a totally different lens. My point-of-view is radically different. When asked my ethnicity, I say I am 100% American. I even add it on forms that has an OTHER option. I might have English, Irish, Skottish, German, Swedish, Italian, etc. blood in me, but that was from long ago. I am all American.

Family Journaling: A Journaling Exercise and Prompt

How has your family influenced your life?

Take a great deal of time to think this through and journal. . Go through each and every one of your relatives--way back on your family tree generations upon generations ago. And see how each individual has made their stamp on your life.

~ Stacy Duplease

(Image Credit: Microsoft Images Online.)